20 Months LID

We have been logged in at CCAA and waiting for referral for 20 months and our current best guess at when we'll receive referral is sometime in 2009. Maybe.

For those outside of the China adoption community, here are some answers to frequently asked questions and frequently heard comments:

• Yes, we've looked into other options and at this point we're staying with China.
• No, we have not done anything wrong - all families waiting for a non-special needs child from China are in the same boat.
• No, there is no way to speed it up - China has an orderly system where it's 'first come, first served' and there are a lot of people in line ahead of us.
• No, we are not going to get pregnant to speed up receiving a child. We are not infertile as far as we know, but we made a choice to complete our family through adoption and as I've said repeatedly, we have no interest in conceiving a biological child when there are so many children in this world who need families and we are not tied to our genes. If anyone pushes this point, prepare yourself for my unedited comments about how I really feel about overpopulating the earth.
• Again, adoption is not settling and having a biological child is not superior to adopting a child in any way, shape for form, so please stop with the comments that imply that.
• Yes, this wait sucks.
• Yes, we will continue to wait.

December Stork Alert

Referrals are out. Those families logged in December 9 through December 14, 2005 will be receiving their referrals this week. Congratulations to all of you.

6 calendar days of referrals means there are now 126 LID days ahead of us to be matched. This rate of referrals gets more depressing each month. If the current rate continues we will not see our child until mid to late 2009. Yes, you read that right - that's a '9', not an '8'.

This is so very hard. For any new readers, we expected about a 10 month wait, give or take. Now we'll be lucky to wait only 3 years.

And please, if you comment, leave out the "worththewaitallingodstime" bullshit. I simply don't want to hear it.

Happy Thanksgiving!

This Thanksgiving I am grateful for...

1. my loving husband
2. our funny dog
3. my princess kitties
4. our cozy home
5. the giant tree in our backyard - and all the critters that congregate on it
6. the awe-inspiring nature that surrounds us
7. all of the people who take care of orphaned children throughout the world either through donation, daily work or adoption
8. the ALTs - this adoption journey wouldn't be the same without you all
9. the smell of plumeria flowers
10. and of course, high quality organic fair trade deep dark chocolate

19 Months LID

We have been logged in at CCAA and waiting for referral for 19 months. It's starting to seem ridiculous to keep track every month.

Dominica! Diving

We discovered Dominica through a small but beautiful ad in Scuba Diving magazine. I just couldn't resist the lush green surrounding a waterfall and the profession of even more beauty in the sea. We did three 2-tank boat dives with Nature Island Dive in the southern town of Soufriere (photo above) - for you non-divers that means we dove 3 mornings, 2 times each.

When we arrived at Nature Island Dive, we were surprised and very pleased to learn that it would be just us with divemaster Tony for our first two mornings. Morning 3, we had a dive mate from California. Apparently the threat of hurricanes scares away most tourists in September.

All of our dives were in the Scotts Head Sourfriere Marine Reserve it was the most beautiful diving we've experienced to date. We don't have an underwater camera, so you'll have to use your imagination and click the links to the dive sites below.

Jacek dove 6 dive sites, I dove 4. On the last dive day I was still too exhausted from our Boiling Lake hike and opted to snorkel instead. A few of our dive sites included Coral Gardens, Danglebens Pinnacles, and Champagne Reef.

There is so much life in Scott's Head Bay that it was almost overwhelming. Our eyes darted everywhere, constantly trying to decide which spot was the most interesting - not an easy decision considering the diversity of corals, sponges, chrinoids, fish and invertebrates, with every color of the rainbow represented.

Some highlights included a seahorse, a nurse shark (our first shark sighting that was not part of a shark dive), several sea turtles including a huge turtle munching on sponges, spaghetti worms (hey, they might be lowly creatures, but they were a first for me), huge bristle worms, spotted snake eels, and so much more...way too much to list. During my snorkeling adventure chasing a school of baby reef squid, Jacek saw his first octopus! Jealous!

Dominica! Cocoa Cottages

Our home base in Dominica was Cocoa Cottages, a 6-room guest house in the Trafalgar area, about 4 miles inland from the capital of Rosseau. The Cottages are set in a tropical garden paradise with a mountain jungle stream dancing below. The owner Richard, his daughter Charm, our guide Jeffrey and staff Isaline, Sylvana and Joan were incredible hosts, offering comfort, great stories, and amazing tropical cuisine.

Each morning and again each evening, the guests gather in the open-air kitchen and sit at a round table made from a huge old wire spool, sipping cocoa tea, bush tea, Kubuli beer, indulging in the fruits of the island, sharing stories and rehashing the days events.

The first photo you see is the TV room, with a great shot of the television - that's right, folks, no TV, no radio, no clocks, no phones...just tropical serenity. Next is a shot from the living room into the dining/kitchen area - it was open air and truly the heart of the cottages. The final two photos are taken from the living room toward the office and up the stairs to show you just how quaint but cool Cocoa Cottages is with it's unique construction and gallery of art - there's some form of art where ever your eye lands. And yes, that is a drum set and keyboard you see - often during the busier season Richard will have musical guests visit and have little jam sessions. Sadly, we were there in the down time and didn't get to experience it.

If click over to the Cottages website you can see a photo of the Jwa Room where we stayed - of course the photo doesn't do it justice - just to the side of the bed is a set of louvre doors onto a little balcony overlooking the jungle garden and stream. We kept the doors open at night for a breeze and for an incredible morning experience listening to the birds and rolling over to see the jungle mountain across the valley. Incredibly, there were no mosquitoes - we slept sans netting and had no issues.

We will definitely be booking more time at Cocoa Cottages - We're hoping for a reunion week with fellow housemates from this trip sometime next year (as China is taking so incredibly long).

November Stork Alert

We interrupt this vacation log to bring you Big Congratulations to all families logged in Decmber 1 through December 8, 2005 on your long-awaited referrals!

8 calendar days of referrals means there are now 132 LID days ahead of us to be matched. The wait trudges on...

Dominica!

About a month ago we took our second 'last trip before baby' to the incredible island country of Dominica. It's in the Lesser Antilles of the Caribbean, between Martinique and Guadeloupe and is an independent nation not to be confused with the Dominican Republic.

Dominica, The Nature Island, is a volcanic island, unspoiled by tourism, covered with lush rainforest and elfin forest, where rivers, streams and waterfalls abound. Their website says it best:

Welcome to Dominica, an island as lush as it is unspoiled. Dominica surges from the sea with soaring peaks that seem to be courting the heavens. Virgin flora covers these dramatic mountains, creating swaths of verdant landscapes. The residue of the fiery forces that created the island thousands of years ago, as part of the Caribbean Ring of Fire, bellows in several hot springs, valleys of steaming earth, and a boiling lake which is the second largest in the world. Along with geothermal wonders come natural coolants: hundreds of pristine rivers and streams web the island's lush terrain. Pure rainwater sets brooks and cascades into motion by rushing down picturesque cliffs. Dominica's natural wonders and rich cultural heritage make it an exceptional ecotourism destination. We invite you to visit our island and defy popular notions of a Caribbean vacation.

This is not an umbrella-drink-on-the-beach kind of destination - it's for the outdoor adventurist who revels in forgoing some of the comforts of home. Because this trip was so amazing, it deserves many blog posts - and photos - and we're hoping a return trip in '08! Stay tuned for details and photos about:

• Cocoa Cottages
• Canyoning
• Scuba Diving
• Hiking to Boiling Lake
• Driving - yes, this was an adventure all on its own
• Melvina

Plumeria Pampering

It worked! You all remember our treasured plumeria plant? You know, the one that was ripped apart by 70 mph winds and tossed carelessly around our yard? Taking the advice of a good adoption friend's father, I gave our storm devastated plumeria a healthy drink of root stimulator and repotted it - all 3 pieces. The leaves died off and the bottom piece (the tall one) just looked like a chewed up stick. Since plumeria plants in northern climates go dormant over winter, I figured we'd know next spring if the emergency plant first aid worked.

Well, a mild autumn did the trick and look! The bare stick is growing 3 new branches with leaves and the former top pieces (the greener trunks) have some leaves developing, too! Being much better with outdoor gardens than potted plants, I'm truly amazed.

Cyber Shower: New Beginnings

The ALT cybershower has begun! Just before vacation, I received the most amazing gift from my good friend at walternatives (password protected) encompassing our first swap theme "New Beginnings". Many thanks to the artist for this precious gift. We will treasure it always.

In concert with our shared belief in reduce, reuse, recycle, the artist created this shadowbox collage using only two new items: the frame and the fabric covering the mailbox door - the door itself was found behind her house. The background is part of a US map showing the midwest and Chicago. The inside edges are lined with vintage letters written in a foreign language, the artist thinks it may be Norweigan. A found mailbox door is the centerpiece, covered in a beautiful green fabric. Peeping up out of the door is a little chick and on the front another letter excerpt with a Polish postage stamp. It's simply amazing - the meaning, thought and artistry put into this gift floored me when I opened it. And even though the artist has not seen my house, it happens that this piece of art will find the perfect home in our newly decorated home office - it's like it was created with this room in mind - how perfect!

The card is made from a vintage letter and photo as well and is inscribed with the following quote:

For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle int he way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served; a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one. Happiness is a journey, not a destination. ~Alfred D. Souza

Boo?

It's the same story every year - Tuesday puts on her halloween best and enthusiastically greets all the trick or treaters - and when it's all said and done she goes into post halloween depression sadly looking to the door and then to me as if to say "Where'd all the kids go?"

As the trick or treaters trickle away, so have my blog posts...I'm incredibly behind but I will catch up. Stay tuned for some swappy goodness, a plumeria update, vacation fun and more!

UPDATE 11/1: Told you so...here she is the next morning...won't the trick or treaters come back, puleeeeeeaaaaaaassse?!?!?!

18 Months LID

We have been logged in at CCAA and waiting for referral for 18 months - a year and a half. Still guessing we will receive referral sometime between fall 2008 and spring 2009 as referral batches continue to creep through LID dates.

October Stork Alert

Congratulations to all families logged in November 26 through November 30, 2005 on your long-awaited referrals!

5 days of referrals means there are now 140 LID days ahead of us to be matched. Rumour is that not only was this a small referral batch in terms of number of LID days included, but in numbers of children finding homes. Sad. Really, really sad.

Happy 4th Anniversary!

We celebrated our 4th anniversary in new way this year - with dinner in San Juan, Puerto Rico and a vacation to the island of Dominica. It was enchanting and I'll share more in comnig posts. 4 years ago, we said our vows on the beach in Hawaii and are still holding hands...I love you honey! Happy Anniversary!

Bite Me!

You all know I'm hoping to raise an eco-baby and some of you suffer my occasional tree-hugger style tips for green living. Now I'm sharing with you the one and only clutter-my-inbox subscription I voluntarily requested. Go ahead, click up there on the shiny green apple - you know you want to! For you who like the idea of being green without being too crunchy, this site is definitely for you! The tips are short, sassy and perfect for those who prefer to be a lighter shade of green. There's even a coordinating blog for more entertaining tip talk, links and earth-goodness fun. Enjoy!

17 Months LID

We have been logged in at CCAA and waiting for referral for 17 months. When we started the process the wait was 8-10 months. The families currently receiving referrals were logged in 21-22 months. The wait continues to grow and our wait will continue to stretch further into the future. Our current guess is that we will receive referral Sometime between fall 2008 and spring 2009 - a guess based on pace of referrals over the past year. Obviously this is not an easy thing to wrap our minds around, considering there are many children in Chinese orphanages waiting for families.

The Sichuan Diaries: A China Journey

The Chicago Tribune's current newsblog The Sichuan Diaries: A China Journey is a wonderful off the beaten path travel log that offers a glimpse into China's heartland. Follow along this amazing journey - start at the beginning by clicking on the week/day numbers on the bottom of the map on the blog's home page.

For centuries, China’s remote interior has churned with war, revolution, growth and collapse. Today, inland China is churning again. With the help of Chinese guide Zhang Xiaoguang, correspondent Evan Osnos and photographer Wes Pope are walking a stretch of inland China to discover what it is today and what lies ahead for China’s Heartland. Along the way, they will answer your questions in English and post some features in Mandarin, thanks to news assistant Lu Jingxian in Beijing.

Remember...9/11/2001

Sunday Meme

From Singing Bird's blog I snagged this meme for some fun mid-month blogging:

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line four, and write what it says.
"...it is the best joke in the world." from Beasts of No Nation by Uzodinma Iweala. The irony of this phrase is that this novel encompasses a very serious, violent and sad subject matter.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
Tuesday, the pretty, pettable, personable, precious pit bull. Oh, and did I mention putrid - yeow, she must have rolled in something...bath time!

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Tivo'd Steeler game..woo hoo! Go Steelers!

Without looking, guess what time it is.
8:00 PM (not too far off, it's 7:42)

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Cleo kitty purring.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I was out a few minutes ago to let Tuesday out and to check my recovering (hopefully) plumeria to see if needed to be watered.

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Email, other adoption blogs.

Did you dream last night?
Yes. In my dream my sister was getting suckered into buying a time share and I was trying to talk her out of it, saying that all the great dive resorts are not time shares - she was getting pretty annoyed with me. Then the alarm went off. I work on Sundays.

When did you last laugh?
I last laughed about 10 minutes ago watching Tuesday prance around the house with her new treat ball toy - she was so proud. She cracks me up!

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Greenish-grayish-brownish paint. We recently redecorated the office and haven't hung anything on the walls yet.

Seen anything weird lately?
Yes - a little growth on my gum between my two lower front teeth and the little hole that is now there after removal. Good news is the periodontist said it's definitely not cancer and said it's something that's common in pregnancy (hey! I'm paper pregant, does that count?) or where there's been trauma that heals funky (more likey, I'm always poking my gums by accident with food).

What do you think of this Meme?
Grateful - I'm too annoyed with the pace of referrals lately to blog about anything directly adoption related so I'm lovin' the instant filler.

What is the last film you saw?
I watched Far From Heaven starring Julianne Moore and Dennis Quaid. Gotta love tivoing from IFC.

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
My house - I'd pay off my mortgage. I'd also buy a vacation home in some tropical scuba diving mecca.

Tell me something about you that I don’t know?
I'm lactose intolerant but didn't know it until I stopped eating dairy to reduce hay fever symptoms - oh, so that's what all those stomach aches diagnosed as stress were my whole life! No more stomach aches and other GI unpleasantries and haven't had prescription allergy meds for 10 years (and only OTC sudafed 4-5 times). Dairy is poison.

If you could change one thing about the world, what would you do?
Since Singing Bird is already taking care of the violence, I'll wave my magic wand for 100% sustainable, pollution free living world wide to eliminate hunger and ensure clean drinking water for all.

Comment to President Bush.
Don't let the door hit you in the *** on the way out, Georgy-boy!

Would you ever consider living abroad?
Yes! I think it would be an incredible experience. I'd prefer somewhere with an exotic edge and not all the comforts of home.

What do you want to say to God when you get to heaven?
I'd ask him how he's going to explain to the "one true religion" souls how the rest of us got here! Ha!

If you haven't done it yet, consider yourself tagged!

September Stork Alert

Congratulations to all families logged in November 22 through November 25, 2005 on your long-awaited referrals!

4 days of referrals means there are now 145 LID days ahead of us to be matched. I really don't feel like discussing the prospect of if or when we will see referral. For the first month of this wait it was somewhat difficult to look at the referral photos on everyone's blogs without wondering if this is really ever going to happen for us.

Storm Story

Yesterday afternoon a line of wicked stormed moved through the entire Chicago area causing a lot of damage. Winds up to 74 mph were reported in the City. It came on fast and furiuos. I was still at work and was amazed at how difficult it was to get people in the outdoor areas of my workplace to move indoors. Tornado warning in effect, people! I almost got hit by a flying tent - that would have hurt.

As we were assessing damage at work I got a call from Jacek who got call from his brother who got a call from my neighbor - we had a large tree branch down on wires in the back yard. It took a while but I was able to determine the lines were not electrical. Our patio umbrella is trashed, half of our garden including our cucumber trellis is gone, and the worst is this:

That's the remains of our plumeria and the beautiful handpainted pot that Jacek made. Go ahead, click the link see it's story. I'll wait. Yes, that plumeria (this link is a photo of its first flower. This plant brought as a simple stick from Hawaii was ripped in half and toppled over. The top half was found about six feet away. I temporarily stuck its end in the dirt of the broken pot. We'll do a clean cut and see if it can be saved, but I'm not all that hopeful.

Tuesday, on the other hand, is loving it. When we went out this morning to take photos and futher assess the damage she was gleefully hopping from one little stick to the next. She LOVES stick chomping...I thought her head would explode with the excitement of yesterday's bounty!

16 Months LID

Sixteen down ??? to go...

Say What (part 2)?

Welcome to installment 2 of our Say What? series. In the last installment I discussed comments we've received related to forming a family through adoption vs. birth. In this installment I'll outline other comments we've received related to our adoption. Beleive it or not, we've heard the following from friends, family and acquaitnances.

"But you know, she'll look Chinese!?"

Said with sincere concern that perhaps we hadn't thought of it when told we decided to adopt a child from China. This was said to Jacek when I wasn't around. I so wish I had been there to feign surprise: "Really? Chinese?! Jacek, we have to talk about this!" (yes, I have a sarcastic side).

"She'll just be American!"

Said in what I preceived as a combination denial/annoyed tone when informed our child will be Chinese-American and that we will do our best to teach her about her Chinese heritage. Not sure if this was sheer 'patriotism', an effort to deny that our child will born in China or what. I chose at the time to simply ignore the comment.

"Will she speak Chinese or have trouble learning English?"

Said with much curiosity (keep in mind our child will likely be 8-14 months old when we go to China). Cute. Children are very resiliant and pick up on new sounds and language very quickly, so even if our child is older and speaking, she will transition to English. When our child is old enough we will give her to opportunity to learn Mandarin.

"You don't know what your getting - What if something's wrong with her? What if she's retarded or sick?"

Said out of concern and I think with hope we would cancel the adoption and try for a bio-child - also said right after telling me about distant relatives who had just gave birth to a developmentally disabled child. The logic escapes me. Genetic material does not guarantee the health of a child. While we know there are no guarantees in terms of undiagnosed conditions, we are adopting a non-special needs child. If our child does get sick or we discover an previously undiagnosed condition we will take care of her and ensure she has great medical care.

"Will you tell her she's adopted?"

Said in the midst of tearing up with me while previewing the adoption related child's book Shoey and Dot (in all fairness, this person barely finished the sentence before realizing the sillines of it - remember she'll "look Chinese" and we do not). We will always be very open with our child about her adoption, starting the day we receive her. As she grows, we want her to feel comfortable talking to us about her feelings, good, bad, and ugly related to her adoption story so that she can work through them and not let them define her entire being. Adoption is not a dirty little secret.

There are more crazy comments that I've heard from other adoptive parents who are already home with their child. I'll talk about those in the next "Say What" installment.

August Stork Alert

Congratulations to all families logged in November 15 through November 21, 2005 on your long-awaited referrals! As usual all the photos I've seen posted are absolute cuties!

7 days of referrals means there are now 149 LID days ahead of us to be matched. We're still guessing that we'll receive referral sometime late next summer/early fall.

I Believe...

As seen on Red blog...pass it on...

Big City Nature

Jacek and I ventured out on a 3 hour bike ride Saturday and were reminded of the great resources our metropolitan area provides. I’m not talking about the museums, theater or nightlife. I’m talking about the great outdoors. Cook County (Chicago's base) is home to over 68,000 acres of Forest Preserves. We chose the North Branch Trail that starts on the north side of the city and spreads through the northern suburbs to the Chicago Botanic Garden. We didn’t quite make it the 20 miles to the CBG, but we did make it 13 miles one way to the Skokie Lagoons, where we enjoyed a picnic lunch while watching the canoes and kayakers have fun on the water. Our ride took us through beautifully restored midwestern prairie - a sea of native wildflowers - and through the forests where we saw 6 deer – three doe and three fawns, spots and all. On one break we rested in a field watching swallows zip around and around and saw a majestic hawk fly above. It was such a beautiful refreshing day.

15 Months LID

We have just passed our 15 month LIDiversary. It feels like we've been waiting longer.

July Stork Alert

I'm a little late to the game this month, but still sending out big congratulations to all families logged in November 8 through November 14, 2005 on your long-awaited referrals!

7 days of referrals means there are now 156 LID days ahead of us to be matched. Our current guess is that we'll receive referral sometime late next summer/early fall.

Orlando Afterthoughts

We just got back from Orlando - I had a professional conference there so Jacek came with me. We had a great time. We flew in on Sunday and drove to Clearwater Beach to walk in the sun. The Gulf water was crazy warm - not refreshing at all. Still, it's a nice beach. We spent an afternoon at Sea World in the rain. After the storms cleared up we rode the Kraken - a very fun roller coaster - 7 inversions, 144 ft. drop, up to 65 mph and it's floorless - all this without getting motion sick - look ma! No dramamine! I hate the high hills, but love the loops!

After a few days of conferencing we made our way to the Magical Midway, where Jacek braved the Sling Shot. And yes, we have video to prove it. I have to say it's the scariest amusement ride yet and the one in Orlando is the biggest - the towers are 115 meters tall and it shoots the rider up to way higher. I think the people who ride it are nuts. And yes, that includes Jacek.

Before flying home on Thursday we spent the day at Discovery Cove. It's a beautiful park and they really do it right. Clean, comfortable, relaxing and a lot of fun. Their aviary and reef are way cool. They have several large southern sting rays and spotted eagle rays among the tons of fish. The birds inlcude the colorful, friendly and downright wacky. They really cater to you while you are there and we agreed it was worth the cost.

So it was a really fun work week and we got home feeling relaxed and ready for the weekend. I used to cringe at the thought of taking our kids to Orlando but after this week I'm kinda looking forward to it.

We're Out of Review!

According to CCAA our dossier is officially out of the Review Room! This means they've gone through our information with a fine toothed comb and think we're A-ok to adopt a child from China. Now our dossier sits on the very bottom of a mountainous pile in the Match Department waiting for a child match. Even though our referral is a long way off, it feels great to reach this little milestone in our journey!

14 month LID

Today our official wait turns 14 months or 427 days old. As far as gestation periods go, if I were a giraffe I would be ready to pop out my calf. But I'm not a giraffe. So the wait goes on.

17 Year Cicadas

They won't be back in this area until 2023, so I've been making the best of the 17 year periodical cicada invasion. I had to - I work in an area where they are heaviest and I'm outside with them quite a bit. It's a pretty amazing life cycle and in just a week or two they'll be gone. I've discovered them in my desk drawer, on my shoulder, down my shirt, up my pants the whole way to the knee and buzzing in my ear. They're loud, clumsy and cartoonish and I've actually come to like the litte guys. Here's a shot of me with one on my nose...my family won't believe this!

Actively Dating

Jacek and I have made a commitment to ourselves to get moving again and take advantage of all the fun this city has to offer. Over the past couple of years our activity levels have dropped and we've gotten in a bit of a rut with our social choices - it seemed our priorities changed and by the time we were done with our weekend errands and cleaning it was time for whatever evening get together (read: sitting around) was underway. We shifted our priorities back where they need to be - activity first. There's too much fun to be had in this city if you just get moving.

We kicked off our new adventure on our Friday date night. We started at the bike shop where I got a new seat, lock and handlebar extension to comfy up my ride. Jacek brought out the magic tools, got everything in place and off we went. We biked about 6-7 miles to our new Whole Foods - they have wine tasting Fridays at 5, plenty of dinner choices and live music. One the way home we stopped at our favorite ice cream shop and enjoyed a cool treat and biked on home. It was the perfect evening and it felt great to move.

Today we got up early and took Tuesday to the dog beach - as usual she had a blast with the other dogs and had a nice swim. One the way home we had a light lunch at a place with dog-friendly outdoor seating then hit a nearby street festival - Tuesday's first. She loved the attention and met a couple new dog pals. It felt good to be out in an urban social environment again.

It's really important to us to be good role models for our future child and that includes a healthy, active lifestyle. We talk all the time about how we can't wait to do this or that with our child and finally realized we don't have to wait - we can be doing those things now. And we still got the house clean this weekend...

June Stork Alert

Congratulations to all families logged in November 2 through November 7, 2005 on your long-awaited referrals!

6 days of referrals means there are now 163 LID days ahead of us to be matched. Though we haven't received official word, we're pretty sure we've cleared the review room at CCAA and our dossier is now sitting in a pile in a very very long line waiting for child match. Based on this assumption, I told my boss about the adoption and gave him my best guess as to when we'll be in China. He doesn't strike me as a pro-kid type so I was nervous about telling him, but he seemed supportive and I feel like a huge weight is lifted.

The Big Green Explosion

Summer's here and our gardens are back! The native prairie garden is exploding and there are already butterflies flitting around in anticipation of the flowers to come. The woodland natives miraculously emerged after being trampled and buried by the fence installers last year. Our strawberry patch has already produced about 2 pints of the best strawberries we've ever had and there are many raspberries on the way, too. We foiled the birds by putting a netting over the berry patch - doesn't look all that pretty, but I wasn't as willing to share this year. The herb garden is planted and we're already harvesting chives and dill. The veggie garden is in and reaching for the sun: tomatoes, banana peppers, hot peppers, eggplant, pickle cucumbers, zuchini and mesculin mix. I changed up my big patio containers this year - alyssum along the outsides with mint in the middle of one and lemon balm in the other...I'm thinking it'll be a good year for iced tea, lemonade and mojitos! I have to say the front lawn is looking smashing, too - the pride of the 'hood.

All of this without the use of chemicals. Earth rocks! I'll post some photos after we take the fence down - we keep it up until the veggie plants grow a bit to keep the dog from trampling them. Stay tuned!

It's so exciting to see the perennials return, the leaves come out on the tree and watch things grow...we love to relax on the patio with the birds and the butterflies with the warm summer breeze...our little urban oasis...

So-Cal Meet

I recently attended a conference near San Diego and discovered that a fellow ALT would be in town the same week. We were able to meet for dessert and drinks. It was great to see fellow waiting parents and connect. It was kind of funny, though because my coworker was with me and I hadn't told work yet so we couldn't talk about the adoption...I was thrilled that the evening was still full of conversation and a few super-secret glances.

Looking forward to the next ALT event!

13 Month LID

May 20 marked 13 months LID for us. The pace of referrals continues to creep along. We had our homestudy update this month and met our new social worker - she's very nice and told us that she was adopted domestically and that it was a closed adoption, meaning she has no way to search for her birthparents. It was interesting to hear how that did and did not affect her growing up. She coordinates the waiting mom meetings at our homestudy agency that I'm looking forward to attending. So far they've fallen on days I've had other obligations.

One bit of great news for us we received from CCAI today...Starting July 30, USCIS (immigration) will extend one free renewal of our I-600A/I-171H. Since our I-171H doesn't expire until mid-August we can postmark our I-600A refile for August 1 and save nearly $900!

May Stork Alert

Congratulations to all families logged in October 27 through November 1, 2005 - referrals are here! Best wishes to you and your new additions!!!

6 days of referrals means there are now 169 LID days ahead of us to be matched. Current guesstimates are that our referral will come sometime between April and October 2008. There is still no word on us clearing the review room at CCAA. In fact, we're holding our breath - we heard of two families with April LIDs being asked for updated medicals including bloodwork because they were "too old". These people's medicals were completed a month after ours. Our agency hasn't had any such requests for April families so far. Fingers crossed!

Earth Day Every Day!

Welcome to Earth Day 2007! Earth Day is every day, really...ever since the Big Blue Marble, Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom and the anti-litter commercial with the crying Native American I was hooked. Hooked on a place so incredibly beautiful with never ending things to discover. I wish more people were hooked on nature. We're destroying it...fast. We need to embrace it and preserve it for ourselves and future generations...

We've all heard "if every person just does one thing". I'm calling BS on that one. Why can't each person do more than one thing? Why can we all do lots of things? Environmentally conscious options are nearly mainstream - they're everywhere - they're affordable and often free! So I'm calling out to all my blog readers - don't do "one thing" - do as much as you can starting now so that when we visit the parks and preserves with our children they can experience the wildflowers and trees, the frogs and the fishes and all else that creates that sense of wonder in all of us...

• Recycle paper, cans, glass, plastics - most communities have pick ups or drop off locations to make it easy;
• Change your light bulbs to the new energy efficient kind - and don't forget to recycle them or include them with your household hazardous waste - do not throw them in the trash;
• Shut off the lights when you leave a room;
• Turn the water off when you're brushing your teeth or shaving;
• Use Energy Star appliances;
• Drive a high mileage, low emissions vehicle - doesn't have to be hybrid to make a difference;
• Use organic lawn care and gardening methods and products - they work just and well, and in the long run they work better than hazardous chemical based methods;
• Plant native grasses and flowers - after establishing they are far hardier than other ornamentals because they evolved for your climate - that means they ultimately use less water and work to keep them beautiful;
• Buy organic and locally grown produce as much as possible - buying organic sends a message that we don't want all of those unnecessary chemicals in our food and buying local supports local family farms and reduces the pollution needed to get that food onto your table;
• Don't litter (major pet peeve);
• Collect roof run off in a rain barrel to water plants and gardens;
• Take your kids outside, show them nature, let them explore;
• Ride your bike or walk instead of driving - to work, to the store, to the park.
• Eat less meat and eat naturally, humanely and sustainable raised meat - meat production is very resource intensive.

What are you all doing to reduce your footprint on the Earth?

Jacek and I drive a low emissions vehicle. It even qualifies for conservation parking at work! We're selling our second vehicle. We try to bike to the store to a friend's house when we can. We are almost done replacing all of our light bulbs with high efficiency bulbs - even our outdoor floodlights on the patio. We bought a small dishwasher for our small kitchen so we use less water to wash our dishes. Our neighborhood put a huge recycle dumpster in a nearby park so we started recycling everything - and reduced our trash by about two-thirds! We take our old paints, chemicals and florescent lights to household hazardous waste collection sites. We shut off the water when we brush our teeth. We collect rain from our garage roof to water our plants and gardens. We now have 2 compost bins and are considering adding a third. We have a native prairie garden in the backyard that attracts lots of birds, bees and butterflies. We grow and organic veggie garden every summer. We use organic lawn care methods and products. We buy organic and local produce. We eat far less meat and when we do eat it we buy naturally, humanely and sustainable raised meat and seafood. We spend time outdoors as much as we can.

Here's to Earth Day - Every Day!!!

ONE

One. One year ago today, on April 20, 2006, our adoption dossier that we had taken so many hours, days and months to prepare was officially logged in at the China Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA). This is the date we began standing in the growing line that is China adoption. One year. Twelve months. Three hundred sixty five days.

We started the adoption journey in January of 2005. We honed in on China later that summer. Due to the "speed" of our first homestudy agency, it took us twice as long as it should have to have our homestudy complete so our dossier didn't go to China until April 2006, resulting in our Log in Date (LID) of 4/20/06...the start of our "paper pregnancy".

At that time the wait from LID to referral had just started to grow from 6-8 months to 8-10 months. We fully expected to be home with our child by now.

But here we stand. One year into our wait and we may only be half way there...or less. Ahead of us in line there are 175 LID days to be matched. Last month, only 2 LID days were matched. Referrals are sent about once a month. Right now there are far more parent dossiers ready to be matched than baby dossiers. Yes, there are still many many children in Chinese orphanages, but not all are eligible for international adoption. It requires paperwork on the part of orphanage directors and either they are not willing or do not have the resources to do more.

So we wait. We're still guessing we'll be matched this time next year. It's just a guess, of course and it could even be later than that. But we will continue to wait because at the end of this journey is our first child.

Say What?!

It comes with the territory. You choose to adopt you open yourself up to a seemingly endless array of inane remarks. Jacek and I are no exception. Since we first announced our intention to adopt we’ve heard a great variety of negative comments, judgments and directives from friends and family. While we don’t believe any of them had bad intention, we present them in our “Say What?” series as an educational opportunity for those outside of the adoption community.

By far the number one crazy comment we’ve received has been “You’re adopting – now you’ll get pregnant for sure!” (Um, we don't want to get pregnant!) The person then goes on to tell us of a friend of a friend of a coworker who adopts and then magically conceives and births a biological child. If you said this to us, don't feel bad - almost everyone did. Other not-so-innocent related comments we’ve received include “Just have your own!”, “I think you should [have your own]”, and “I was really hoping you’d get pregnant and forget this whole adoption thing.”

Some emotions that ran through my head in particular when I heard the comments included amusement, anger, annoyance, disbelief and sadness that there are people who will be in our child’s life who might think that she is second best because she does not share our genetic material or that we "settled".

We don’t see having a biological child as preferential to adopting. In fact, quite the opposite is true for us. Completing our family through adoption is our first choice. We’re what some call “preferential adopters”. We chose to adopt because we want a child (or two) and honestly don’t see the point of giving birth when there are so many orphans in the world in need of homes. We are not attached to our DNA and I have no desire to experience pregnancy or childbirth. That’s right, none. Never have had the desire, never will.

For others in the adoption community who have struggled with infertility, I’m guessing that the emotions associated with "now you'll get pregant" and related comments sting extra hard.

Stay tuned for the next installment of Say What?! when we'll discuss comments based on misconceptions about adoption...

April Stork Alert

Congratulations to families logged in October 25th and 26th, 2005! Your referrals are here!

Yes, you see that right - only 2 log in dates referred this month. Apparently there were an unusually large number of dossiers logged in at CCAA during these 2 days. The snails pace continues...

Birthday Surprise

Check out what Jacek brought home for my birthday! The flowers took my breath away and swept my frazzled mind back to Hawaii...perfection!

Thank you honey! I love you!

Beautiful British Columbia

We recently spent a long weekend in the pacific northwest - flying into Seattle then driving up to Vancouver to visit Jacek's dad. Our favorite was the day we spent at Whistler-Blackcomb - wow! Jacek and his brother spent the day skiing and his brother's girlfriend and I went on a dogsledding adventure. A rickety old bus took us down a dirt path, chained tires and all to the meeting spot. The sled trail went along a river. There were no sounds other than people and dogs - no planes, no cars, nothing but the river and trees and snow. It was peaceful and exhilirating at the same time.

We all met at the end of the day on the deck of one of the pubs near the bottom of Whislter mountain - it was great sitting outside under the table umbrella in the drizzle sipping beer and watching the skiers. The next day we ventured to Steveston docks in the rain to choose our fresh catch for dinner. We spent another day in the parks of downtown Vancouver and had a great seafood dinner.

BC is just beautiful with all of the evergreens, mountains, rivers, lakes and ocean harbors. Can't wait to go back for more!

11 Months LID

Our dossier has been logged in with the CCAA for 11 months. Next month perhaps we'll celebrate our one year LIDiversary - can't believe we're that close to a year!

Fur Kid Fiasco

Some of you already have heard...for those who have not, we have had to return our foster dog Zoey to the rescue organization. I came home last Wednesday to 2 terrorized cats and cat urine and feces all over the house. Odette was fine, just very afraid and soaked in her own urine. She is back to her normal self. Cleo did not fare as well. I suspect she tried to defend her sister against Zoey, who may have been trying to play as she did with her previous cat friend.

Cleo suffered a broken mandible (lower jaw bone) and a couple of puncture wounds. The break was right in the middle of the bone and according to the vet is not all that uncommon in cats. I took her to the emergency vet and the next day she had surgery at her regular vet to wire her jaw. The vet was unsure if it would work due to her age and bad teeth but said it was worth trying. She was able to securely wire the jaw and Cleo was up and looking around shortly after surgery. She came home that same day. She is doing well, and is eating. She's resisting her meds which tells me she's feeling as well as can be expected. She's a tough kitty. She will have the wire sugically removed in 6 weeks (well, 5 now). When I returned from my weekend trip to Vancouver (more on that soon) Cleo cuddled up to me and was purring as loud as ever and as usual couldn't get anough petting.

Tuesday suffered a yellow stinky head. Apparently one of the cats peed on her while sitting on top of the crate Tuesday was in. She got a quick head shampoo and is fine. She's being extra gentle with the cats like she knows something major happened to them. Other than that she's her regular happy go lucky self.

As for Zoey - we chose Zoey based on her profile listed with the rescue organization and based on email verification that she met all of our criteria for fostering. The night before this tragedy I received the relinquishment form Zoey's former owner completed when she gave her up. To my surprise and anger I discovered that none of the criteria were true. To make a long story a little shorter, Zoey was not crate trained, was not housebroken, had severe separation anxiety, was fearful of strangers, and although she lived with a cat before, she played rough with him.

Had these things been revealed to us initially we would not have chosen Zoey to foster. We were responsible enough to limit our acceptance and the rescue made a huge mistake by not paying close enough attention to the relinquishment form - perhaps it was because Zoey isn't a bully breed someone assumed they could take a short cut, I don't know. What I do know is that the rescue is waiting for my full explanation and documentation so that they can use this experience to better train their volunteers and avoid something like this from happening again.

As for me, last Wendesday and Thursday were the most traumatic days I've had for a long time. I still feel bad for Zoey and think that had she been evaluated and placed in a correct foster home she could have succeeded - I hope she will have that opportunity soon. The heartache I experienced driving Zoey back to the boarding facility was horrible. The heartache and guilt I experienced taking Cleo to the ER vet was even worse. It took me several days to recover and while I still feel sad for Zoey and Cleo I find strength from my little six pound black cat with the powerful will to survive.

If you are considering fostering or adopting a rescue dog, please do not let this discourage you - there are many wonderful dogs and cats in need of a good home. I truly believe this was an isolated incidence of someone in a rush. Both of my cats are rescues and are wonderful. Tuesday is a rescued pit bull and is the most amazing dog on the planet.

We're Foster Parents!

Today we became foster parents to Zoey. Here she is with Tuesday (Zoey is the one with freckles). She was relinquished to the rescue organization by someone who said she didn't have time for her because she's so high energy. We went to the boarding facility housing her to meet her just today. There we were in a HUGE play room alone with her. She circled us without coming anywhere near us then hopped up on a box in the corner shaking. She wouldn't even take her favorite treats from us.

Her favorite human eventually came in and she started warming up to us with the security of his presence. We took her for a walk and she met Tuesday and one call to the rescue organization and she was in the car with us. We adopted Tuesday from the same rescue 2.5 years ago.

We've been home for an hour and a half and already the girls are loving each other - they're chasing, wrestling, playing tug and giving lots of kisses. She likes us now, too. I'm so happy we were able to get her out of the kennel - kennels are just not good for dogs long-term. She had already been there for 2-3 months.

We'll keep you posted on the new adventures of fostering Zoey!

March Stork Alert

Congratulations to families with LIDs from October 14 through October 24! Your referrals are here! The China adoption community is abuzz with excitement and anticipation to see your babies' sweet faces!

For the rest, the referral pace continues to inch along, slowing like the freight train on the morning commute - you know the one that comes just as you approach the crossing with only minutes to make your first meeting...and after the gates are down it slows, mocking you...and now it's slowing even more and you can almost hear its evil chuckle...it's barely moving...a mile long string of cars inching along the tracks ever. so. slowly. You wonder if you'll even make it to work today...yup, that's what our wait is feeling like right now.

3/7 Update: Dossiers logged in through March 31, 2006 have been reviewed. Looks like we're definitely in the review room! Someone at the CCAA is going over our dossier with a fine toothed comb to judge whether or not we are worthy to adopt from China. This also means they're look at our photos - and several of you family and friends out there are in them! Smile!

QuALTing

I've given in. I'm making a 100 good wishes quilt. What changed my mind? Why, the ALTs of course...talk of funky fabrics and ground rules ruling out babyish, hard core girlie and commercial characters sucked me in. And you know what? So glad I joined the quilt cult...check out some of these fabrics - they are fun, funky and beautiful. They're going to make a fabulous quilt that our child will find use for beyond babyhood. Thank you to all of the ALTs who've sent very creative and loving wishes our way - we will treasure them always. As for family and friends, you all need to get on the ball - we've only received one quilt square and wish from your group. I've never quilted before, don't own a sewing machine and have no idea what I'm in for, so I need these fabric squares and wishes soon so I can start planning. And no worries - I have a sew savy friend willing to help.

10 Months LID

We've made it into the double digits - our dossier has now been logged in at the China Center for Adoption Affairs for 10 months.

Mardi Gras

Laissez le bon temps rouler!

Tuesday had a great time at our little Mardi Gras shindig last weekend - and so did everyone else. We had vegetarian jambalaya, hurricanes, king cake and lots of great conversation. It was my first try at jambalaya and I must say it rocked. It was so refershing to see everyone come out of hibernation. Bring on Spring!

And yes, Tuesday kept her collar and beads on all night - she's quite the party dog.

Kung Hay Fat Choy!

Wishing you all health and happiness in the year of the Boar!

The year of the Boar: is one of benevolence, one with a lot of 'feel good factor', one of "abundance" and a good year for business. Life in this year will be lived to the fullest and although there will be uncertainty it will be minimal. It is a rich year with impetuous acts, but care is recommended with any matters concerning money. The Boar is the symbol for great courage and integrity.

If referrals stay at their current pace, then it's probable that our child will be born in the year of the Boar or Pig. Here's what one site says about people born in Boar years:

Chivalrous and gallant, people born in the year of the boar are always flying the white banner of purity. Whatever their ambition, they do what they must with all the strength they have, for their strength is an inner strength that no one can overcome. There is neither left nor right nor retreat when a boar person sets out to do something. He has tremendous fortitude and
great honesty.

Boar people don't make many friends, but when they do, they make friends for life, and anyone having a boar-year-born person as a friend is indeed fortunate. Boar people don't talk much, but when they finally say something, they let it all come out at one time, and there is no shutting them up until they have finished. Like monkey people, they have a great thirst for knowledge. They study a great deal and on the surface are generally well informed. However, if their knowledge is probed, it will be discovered that what they knows is limited. The Japanese saying is that such a person is broad in front but has a narrow back.

Boar people are quite short-tempered, yet they have quarreling or arguments. They are affectionate and kind to their loved ones. They are shy and if they encounter any problems, they will not ask for outside help but will seek solutions to their problems by themselves. Boar people are advised not to get into lawsuits, for, being impulsive and hones, they will lose the suit to someone who is unscrupulous.

Mandarin Monday

I'm finding Mandarin class to be a lot of fun, especially the cultural tidbits he adds in here and there. In this week's class we each received a Chinese name - basically the teacher took characters that sound similar to our names - and we used brushes and paint to try our hand at creating our characters a la calligraphy. It was rather meditative after a while and I'm thinking I need a Buddha Board. We also drilled numbers and practiced saying them and translating into English.

So I leave you with 0-10 in pinyin: ling, yi, er, san, si, wu, liu, qi, ba, jiu, shi
And just for fun, 1101: yiqianlingershiyi
And, finally for you lottery players out there 1 million: yiyi

Zai Jian!

Here's a Thought...

If referrals continue at the current rate there's a very good possibility our future child has been conceived.

Early Spring!!!

As I look at the single digit temperature on the thermometer and feel the blow zero wind chills I'm thrilled to announce that the one and only, the authentic Punxsutawney Phil, the prognosticating groundhog has finally and for only the 15th time in recorded history predicted an early spring! Happy Groundhog Day to all!

January Stork Alert

Congratulations to all families with LIDs between September 28 and October 13, 2005! Your referrals are here! Let the fun begin!

CCAA has also announced that they've completed review of dossiers logged in through March 22, 2006.

This means there are 6 months and one week of LIDs in line for referral ahead of our LID of April 20, 2006...and it means that our dossier is likely in CCAA's review room - right now they're looking at our homestudy, our photos, our financial statement, our physical forms, etc. Cool, huh?

Mandarin Mondays

Ni hao! I started Mandarin class at the local community college last week on Monday nights. It's a fun class and already the teacher is trying to talk me into his Chinese cooking class so I can prepare good Chinese food for our baby - including congee (rice porridge commonly fed to children in China). I don't think I can swing two class nights a week, so I might have to wait until next session, but I do love to cook!

So far we've learned basic greetings and numbers - he says I have good pronunciation so far - I make a lot of little phonetic notes, which helps.

In China there are hundreds of dialects spoken. Mandarin is one of them and it is the official dialect of the country, therefore everyone learns it (even if they don't use it much in their local town or province). Regardless of dialect, the characters used for writing mean the same thing, so the character for apple in Mandarin is the same as the character for apple in Cantonese.

My goal is to be proficient in basic travel Mandarin and to be able to say some basic things to our baby when we're in China. Even if her orphanage uses a different dialect, Mandarin will sound less strange to her than English and may offer some comfort during her transition to our family. It will take a while to reach that goal. For now I'll be excited to go to Chinatown and have someone understand me when I say "hello" or "thank you" or "where's the bathroom" in Mandarin...speaking of Chinatown, I think it's time for a dim sum brunch soon....mmmmmmm.

Blogger Problems

I switched to the new Blogger and now cannot log in - ah, but I can log in to post comments on other people's Blogger blogs and then can access my blog indirectly that way. I've emailed Blogger for help - I've done everything they suggested in their "can't log in" help section to no avail. Hopefully it will be resolved soon. Stay tuned!

9 Months LID

Yes, our paper pregnancy has reached the point at which we'd be expecting any day now had we chosen the giving birth route. Unfortunately, this gestation period will be closer to that of an elephant with a good possibility of even surpassing that. We've also officially been in the adoption process for 2 years. We attended our first information meeting in January '05. Cheers!

December/January Stork Alert

Congratulations to families with LIDs between 9/9/05 and9/27/05 - your referrals are here!!!

This means there is about 7 months of Log In Dates ahead of ours (4/20/06). If referral rates stay the same - 2-3 months per LID month - then we are at least 14 months out from getting our referral.

Happy ALT Birthday!!!